OMG LOL ROLF Espada Chatroom
by RabidSheep
Summary: The Espada have their very own chatroom to get online and communicate. Naturally what they discuss in said chat is not your typical espada business. Rated for mild yaoi, cussing, and stupid arrancar.
1. Chapter 1

You have signed on to Espada Chatroom.

KittyKittyMineMine has joined the chat.

KittyKittyMineMine: Yo

FourthEmo: …

SexyFifth: hi grimmjaw

KittyKittyMineMine: Hey Nnoitra

SexyFifth: answer me dammnit!

SexyFifth: o nevermnd

MisterPerfect: :]

CoyoteLuv: szayel stop posting smiley faces that's creepy

MisterPerfect: :C

MisterPerfect: But..buttt…ilu, Stark.

Coyoteluv: well I dont love you youre a whore

KittyKittyMineMine: oooh you got burned, szayel

MisterPerfect: ;[

MisterPerfect has signed off.

CoyoteLuv: Opps I think hes mad at me

SexyFifth: he will b back

MisterPerfect has entered the chat.

SexyFifth: see?

MisterPerfect: =3= O I cant stay mad at u Stark

CoyoteLuv: ugh.

SharkLady has entered the chat.

FourthEmo: You are all trash.

SexyFifth: hey sex muffin hows it goin?

MisterPerfect: pretty good :]

SexyFifth: o.0 i-I wasn't talking to you

SharkLady: Stark, Aizen wants to see you right now.

CoyoteLuv: damn it im in trouble.

CoyoteLuv has signed off.

SexyFifth: so hallibel…what u doin 2night?

SharkLady has signed off.

FourthEmo: lol

KittyKittyMineMine: whoa!

SexyFifth: holy crap o.0

MisterPerfect: that is so weird D:

KittyKittyMineMine: Ulquiorra did you really just lol?

FourthEmo: I laugh. I laugh al the time. U guys think I don't laugh or something?

SneakyFox has entered the chat.

SneakyFox: hay gays

SneakyFox: *oppsi mean guys

MisterPerfect: HHEEEEEYYY GIIINNNN~! *huggles*

SneakyFox: stop that.

MisterPerfect: make me ^^

KittyKittyMineMine: Gin did you finish making me those pants?

SneakyFox: Oh you mena the special ones *winkwink* yes I did

KittyKittyMineMine: Special? Wtf did you do to my pants?!

SneakyFox: Nothing, I just made them like you asked.

SharkLady has signed on.

CoyoteLuv has signed on.

KittyKittyMineMine: Damnit Gin if you screwed up my pants at all I will personally behead you!

SneakyFox: temper temper Grimmjow

MisterPerfect: *hugs Stark and glares at Hallibel* mine!

SharkLady: Bitch please.

CoyoteLuv: Just ignore him, Hali. He's just doing it to mess with you.

MisterPerect: You're too cruel. :C

SharkLady: right

FourthEmo: *SHIIIIIIIGH*

KittyKittyMineMine: Shut. Up. Ulquiorra. God you are so annoying

SexyFifth: kick his ass

D-K has entered the chat.

CoyoteLuv: im so tired.

D-K: which one of you scoundrels left this note in my room?

SexyFifth: What note, barragan

D-K: This one that reads "I rubbed my wang on something in you room, guess what it was."

SexyFifth: I bet it was hallibel

MisterPerfect: Hallibel is a lady, nnoitra. She does not have a 'wang'.

SexyFifth: as if you would know

KittyKittyMineMIne: o dat mite 'ave been me

D-K: … so what did you rub it on?

KittyKittyMineMine: as if I'd tell you!

D-K: -.-

Sugardaddy69 has entered the chat.

MisterPerfect: Yammy! How R U big boy?

Sugardaddy69: jdshasahjkm aalpogkjisra0gju9 9o,mx.

SharkLady: I'm surprised he managed to use a computer at all.

Sugardaddy69: ffuuuccckiiu youuuuurtru

KittyKittyMineMine: don't hurt yourself there, yam

D-K: now that's just sad. Someone should go help him

SneakyFox: I know I'm not

Sugardaddy69: I no ow 2 use a computer yal stoopids

SexyFifth: you a stooped!

SexyFifth: I hate you all!

MisterPerfect: but I looove you, nnoitra :3

SneakyFox: Stop that.

Hotwheels4life has entered the chat.

CoyoteLuv: Who is this

Hotwheels4life: hola

KittyKittyMineMine: I have no fucking idea who that is

MisterPerfect: Who are you, hotwheels?

D-K: *scratches his bum*

Hotwheels4life: This is Aaroniero Arruruerie. The espada

CoyoteLuv: never heard of ya

KittyKittyMineMine: YOU'RE an espada, Aaroniero? Seesh they let anyone be one these days.

Hotwheels4life: ..wtf I have ben one longer then you have, grimmjow!

SexyFifth: no you hanvt. Don't lie

Hotwheels4life: I'm going to kill you all

SneakyFox: join the club

BlindSage has entered the chat.

SneakyFox: wow. really?

MisterPerfect: I thought tousen was blind

CoyoteLuv: well that's something you don't see every day

SharkLady: a blind man using a computer..

Sugardaddy69: GARF

KittyKittyMineMine: hey guys check out this awesome pic if found

Attachfile.

SneakyFox: that's sick, grimmjow

CoyoteLuv: im gonna vomit

FourthEmo: what is that girl doing with that..oh my!

SexyFifth: LOL OMG GRIMMJOW IS LINKING PORN HAHAHAAAAAA

MisterPerfect: So nasty

D-K: kids these dayz

OptimusPrime has entered the chat.

OptimusPrime: HIIIII!~^^

FourthEmo: Orihime…go back to your room.

OptimusPrime: I am in my room, ulqui-chan.

FourthEmo: SIIIIiigh

OptimusPrime: I wish my eyes could shoot lasers so I could be all "pewpewpew!" like a cyborg :]

SexyFifth: like a cyborg.

CoyoteLuv: OMG LADY GAGA IS DEAD!

CoyoteLuv: Oh wait, never mind.

SneakyFox: you listen to lady gaga? O.0

D-K: Who doenst?

SneakyFox: I find her music annoying on so many levels

KittyKittyMineMine: WHAT? How? Her music is awesome!

SneakyFox: its to stupid, theres no art to it

KittyKittyMineMine: No art? That's so dumb all of her songs are artful.

SneakyFox: ok well that is your opinion

KittyKittyMineMine: yes it is, im gonna go turn up her music in my room just to spite you.

Hotwheels4life: *snickers*

LordAizen has entered the chat.

KittyKittyMineMine: OH SHIIII-

KittyKittyMineMine has signed off.

FourthEmo has signed off.

SexyFifth has signed off.

MisterPerfect has signed off.

CoyoteLuv has signed off.

SharkLady has signed off.

SneakyFox has signed off.

D-K has signed off.

Sugardaddy69 has signed off.

Hotwheels4life has signed off.

BlindSage has signed off.

OptimusPrime has signed off.

LordAizen:…

LordAizen: Oh you guys suck.


	2. Chapter 2

Due to popular demand a second chapter has been scraped from the bottom of a dark pit of despair also known as my mind, BUT before I allow you to sink you teeth into this juicy delicacy I will do a name explanation for the characters. Some are self explanatory while others I am sure make you tilt your head and wonder if we are crazy. Which 'we' are but not in the way you think.

KittyKittyMineMine is the name of a song on DDR that me and my mate stumbled upon while at the arcade. It is awesome to dance to. I wanted something feline related for Grimmjow's name so that fit well.

MisterPerfect was formed for Szayel about how he boasts about how perfect he is. I don't like Szayel, but he is fun to make fun of.

SexyFifth is of course Nnoitra. I feel bad for him because in the anime he is made out to be a hyper blood loving freak where as in the manga he is a despairing blood loving freak. Also he is sexy.

CoyoteLuv came to me while thinking up a nickname for Stark. His first name is Coyote which doesn't make sense that his release is a bunch of ghost wolves that look like a bunch ghost cats. Oh Tite, your so silly.

DK when said out loud is 'decay' which is Barragan's power. The power of decay or rotting.

Hallibel is a shark. Hallibel is a lady. SharkLady was only the natural thing to put.

EmoFourth should be obvious. I will be the first to admit it is not the least bit creative but I could not think of anything at the time for our favorite little green eyed espada.

I forgot what Zomarri's name was. ...lets just skip him.

HotWheels4life is an inside joke between me and my mate. We wanted something silly and dorky for Arron-whats his face.

For Yammy we wanted something to say how BIG he is how strong he also is. Yam is a pretty big guy, him standing next to the other espada like a diesel truck standing neck to a bunch of sports cars.

SneakyFox is a 'duh' name. When you think Gin you think "Say, that gent is pretty sneaky looking." or "I wonder why his hair is white yet he doesn't look like an old person." or maybe even "Did he just grab my butt?" Where was I going with this? Tousen!

BlindSage, ofcourse the only person in Bleach who is blind is Tousen so this should have been obvious.

Dio means God in Spanish. I think. Yeah. It does. Please enjoy.

MisterPerfect has signed on.

MisterPerfect: N E 1 On?

CoyoteLuv: yo

MisterPerfect: STTTAAARRRKK ~* Whatcha doin?

CoyoteLuv: I was trying to sleep but Grimmjow keeps playin Just Dance so loud it shakes my room.

MisterPerfect: Im glad my Lab is soundproof.

CoyoteLuv: You have a DOG? Aizen wouldn't even let me get a pet fish!

MisterPerfect: Laboratory, love. Not Labrador Retriever.

CoyoteLuv: o

MisterPerfect: Hey, you have a facebook?

CoyoteLuv: No I have comcast.

MisterPerfect: o.0

MisterPerfect: Weeeelllll...Imma go. Got lots of things to experiment on, ya know?

CoyoteLuv: k

MisterPerfect has signed off.

CoyoteLuv: *rubs eyes* Im goin o buy some earplugs and try to sleep.

CoyoteLuv has signed off.

Fifteen minuets pass.

EmoFourth has signed on.

EmoFourth: _SIIIIIIIIgh_

EmoFourth: Might as well see how this "random chooser" thingy works.

EmoFourth asked the chat to choose between black and white. The chat chose white.

EmoFourth: I see...

EmoFourth asked the chat to choose between Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. The chat chose Grimmjow.

EmoFourth: Curse you

EmoFourth asked the chat to choose between Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra. The chat chose Grimmjow.

EmoFourth: gggrrrrrrrr!

Dio has signed on.

Dio: hi

EmoFourth: ...hi.

Dio: hi

EmoFourth: 0.o

Dio: :)

EmoFourth: You know this is a private chatroom, right? Espada and higher rank only.

Dio: yeah I know

EmoFourth: so..leave

Dio: uhm...I am an arrancar and Awesomely Handsome Lord Aizen said I could come in here and talk with my children-er I mean the Espada.

EmoFourth: right. Trash.

SexyFifth has signed on.

SexyFifth: Holy fuck I got wasted last night. Grimmjow's party was off the hooooook!

EmoFourth: I wasnt invited to a party...-.-

SexyFifth: well duh, he hates you.

Dio: I was not invited either.

Dio: I mean AIZEN. Lord Aizen was not invited to that party and I hear he was mad about it.

SexyFifth: Who the piss are YOU?

Dio: uh...an arrancar?

EmoFourth: Aizen said he could be here.

SexyFifth: i dont fuckin care

SexyFifth: !! I swear to aizen, if Nell does not stop texting me I will choke that bitch!

EmoFourth: D: shes a baby! U cnat choke a baby!

SexyFifth: ya I can

EmoFourth: ...

EmoFourth: huh?

SexyFifth: …

SexyFifth: what where we talking about?

Dio: I liek pie

MisterPerfect has signed on.

SexyFifth: I will hunt u down and kill u.

MisterPerfect: :(

SexyFifth: I was talkin at dio

MisterPerfect: (: oh good

SexyFifth: damn right

MisterPerfect: I just realized Taylor swift songs define my life.

SexyFifth: like witch ones?

Dio: wow you really spelled 'which' like that? Really?

MisterPerfect: Like "Love Story" and "Bad Romance".

SexyFifth: bad romance is by lady gaga

MisterPerfect: no its not

EmoFourth: ya it is

MisterPerfect: Ok you guys are so stupid. Taylor Swift totally sings Bad Romance.

Dio: i think they are right, taylor doesnt sing those kind of songs

MisterPerfect: ;(

MisterPerfect: I am a genius and I say she sings it.

KittyKittyMineMine has signed on.

SexyFifth: Grimmjow does Taylor Swift sing Bad Romance?

KittyKittyMineMine: no. gaga does.

SexyFifth: Told ya'll! Suck it!

MisterPerfect: okay ;)

SexyFifth: weirdo

MisterPerfect: if you dont want me to then i wont.

SexyFifth: Well I didn't say no...

Dio: Is this what you guys talk about in here? This is all retarded crap.

KittyKittyMineMine: Hey! Watch your mouth!

MisterPerfect: Really!

SexyFifth: That term is offensive to mentally handicapped people!

Dio: w-what?

SexyFifth: What a dumbass.

KittyKittyMineMine: seriously

SexyFifth: Just leave, dio. Just go. Noone likes you.

Dio: :(

SneakyFox has signed on.

SexyFifth: What is a turd? Nell just texted me sayin that I am "as dumb as a turd"

SneakyFox: hay gays

MisterPerfect: Now you're just doin that on purpose.

KittyKittyMineMine: turd means poop

SexyFifth: Oh hell no! She did not just call me a piece of poop!

EmoFourth: you just got told by a toddler. Burn.

SexyFifth has signed off.

SneakyFox: So I'm gonna leave some nasty comments on HitsuGAYa's youtube page. Anyone wanna join me?

KittyKittyMineMine: sure

Dio: I'll join in on that, Gin.

SneakyFox: great. Don't forget to use some really 'colorful' words.

Dio: his vids are so stupid.

SneakyFox: did you see the one where he rants about people thinking he doesn't have a soul because of his hair color?

Dio: ooo no, which one is that?

SneakyFox: its titled "Albino's DO have souls!"

Dio: found it

Dio: lol wow

MisterPerfect: ~*Ooh Nnoitra is in my rooooom*~ I'll brb, guys. I got some 'work' to do. *wink wink*

MisterPerfect has signed off.

Twenty minuets pass.

MisterPerfect has signed on.

SexyFifth has signed on.

MisterPerfect: Oh that was wonderful, Nnoitra but..now my hair is a mess

SexyFifth: ya your pretty good at doin that with your tongue.

MisterPerfect: Oh please, YOUR tongue is simply magical the way you used it like that. I never knew it could do those things!

Dio: *vomits*

KittyKittyMineMine: yuck, yaoi is disgusting. Yuri on the other hand is...yummy.

CoyoteLuv has signed on.

SharkLady has signed on.

CoyoteLuv: yo

DK has signed on.

DK: Ha! I beat my computer at chess. I. am. AWESOME.

CoyoteLuv: No you're not, Barragan, dont lie

HotWheels4life has signed on.

HotWheels4life: Why do fanfiction writers assume I like tentacle rape?! I would never rape anyone!

KittyKittyMineMine: that was random

MisterPerfect: and why am I always seme in fanfic's, while we are on the subject? Sometimes I dont want to do all the work during sex!

Dio: Well atleast none of you are always the 'bad guy with the power of illusions' like I am portrayed- I mean like Aizen is portrayed in fics .

CoyoteLuv: Aizen pisses me off.

Dio: :(

MisterPerfect: I know, right?

SneakyFox: ugh he thinks he is SOOO high and mighty sitting on his throne.

KittyKittyMineMine: Exactly!

Dio: b-but...but...

SharkLady: And what is up with that one curly piece of hair hanging in his face?

EmoFourth: Someone should tell him it looks like a piece of rubbery brown DOOKIE

Dio: … Eh tu, Brute?

Dio has blocked users from logging off.

Dio has changed his nickname to LordAizen.

KittyKittyMineMine: OH SHHHIIII-

KittyKittyMineMine: well damn I caint log off..

KittyKittyMineMine: this is awkward.

LordAizen: I am going to need all of you to form a line outside my throne room so I can personally insert my foot up your collective asses.

LordAizen: any questions?

MisterPerfect: No, Aizen-sama.

CoyoteLuv: nada

KittyKittyMineMine: naw

SexyFifth: no

SneakyFox: nope

SharkLady: No

LordAizen has unblocked users from logging off.

LordAizen has signed off.

MisterPerfect: might as well get this over with

MisterPerfect has signed off.

CoyoteLuv: hali well you meet me in my room after this is done?

SharkLady: sure, stark

CoyoteLuv has signed off.

SharkLady has signed off.

KittyKittyMineMine has signed off.

SexyFifth: I better tell Tesla to prepare my butt-cream. Cuz Aizen is gonna rip me a new one, tonight.

SexyFifth has signed off.

SneakyFox: and the mention of butt-cream is my cue to leave. :3

SneakyFox has signed off.

Hotwheels4life has signed off.

DK has signed off.

EmoFourth: its just me...hmmm

The chat chose Grimmjow.

EmoFourth: OH COME ON! !


End file.
